I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
