You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
