can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
