never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
