we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
