people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
