so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
