my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
