Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
