I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize