I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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