you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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