I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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