she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
