She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
