3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
