Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
