So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
