...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
