Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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