the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
