census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
