Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
