I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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