I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Randomize
