after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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