just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
