I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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