Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
