the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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