If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
