I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize