When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
