Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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