i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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