rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
