I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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