i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
