i jhust puked up my retainher.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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