I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
