Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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