At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
