You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
