Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
