you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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