Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
