We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
