Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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