I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
