nut hugger
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
