soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
