Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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