How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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