i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
