wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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