Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
