Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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