if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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