I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
