I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
