I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it penis luge time yet?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
