u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
