i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
