we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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