sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
These tits shall not be calmed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
