If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
