I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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