Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
