ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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