I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
