So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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