It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize