Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
